But the longer we sit on them the harder they become to voice, which is why relationships guru Esther Perel suggest putting pen to paper. Tough conversations - we need to have more than ever before. 'Having ridden the ups and downs together, there's something about knowing you're committed to each other and that you can take on the world together that can give you confidence and help reach your goals.' 'We get to increasingly feel safe with a partner and know they have our back. She says getting to know one another's feelings, emotions and pain deepens intimacy. What do we gain after the honeymoon phase?ДЄlthough we lose that butterfly feeling, there is a lot we gain, explains Ms McKimmie. He says it's not black and white, but generally women are looking for a deeper connection sooner. 'For a lot of men, sex is a lot of the point of the relationship, and there are a lot who wouldn't stay in a relationship if they weren't sexually satisfied.' 'I'm reluctant to categorise people in terms of gender because there is huge variation, but it is fair to say generally men take it harder than women,' Mr Gale-Baker says. Men and women will react differently when sexual desire fades. people shift into being parents rather than partners,' Mr Gale-Baker says. 'For a lot of people, sex just stops at that point. Life events like having children can also impact sexual chemistry. Read moreДЄnd it's not just time that causes the sparkle to disappear. So what happens when you want to change things up? Sexologist Tanya Koens shares her advice. Routine sex - there's nothing wrong with it, but sometimes we crave change or novelty.

How we move through the next phases of a relationship is dependent on our own history, circumstances and mental health, Ms McKimmie says. How long it lasts depends on the individual couple, but it can be anywhere from six months to a few years.Д¬ouples doing long distance, for example, will likely feel it for longer, Mr Gale-Baker says. 'Heightened feelings of passions and sexual drive' best describe the honeymoon period, Ms McKimmie says. The 'honeymoon phase' dies eventually (and we all need to accept that) Here's a friendly reminder of what you're probably overlooking while busy searching for the piping hot flame you once had. The truth is, you'll never get back the same spark you once had, relationship counsellor Paul Gale-Baker says, but there is something more meaningful to be celebrated.

'Having a deeper connection, finding ways to work as a team and juggle life together doesn't get the same amount of attention,' she says. We can even think there is something 'wrong with us' when our connection with our partner isn't 'passionate, urgent and romantic' as depicted in Hollywood films and on social media, explains couple's therapist Isiah McKimmie. Many of us miss the early excitement and lust that often vanishes in long-term relationships.

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